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Why Am I Afraid to Be Alone With My Baby? How Therapy for Dads in Des Plaines, IL, Helps With First-Time Father Anxiety

  • Micah Shapiro
  • Jan 6
  • 5 min read

Updated: Jan 21


You watched your kiddo being born. You watched your kiddo bond with your spouse; she is, after all, the source of those soothing maternal hormones and your kiddo’s favorite restaurant all at once. You are not. No wonder s/he starts crying whenever you take over. If your spouse is available for backup, there’s no need to panic. But wait! Now you’re left alone with the baby, and you’re freaking out. If this story resonates with you, let’s dive in.


New dad anxiety can appear without warning. It’s especially jarring if you’re usually on top of your game in your career and relationships. Then you’re tasked with holding a crying, screaming, puking, pooping tiny person who’s completely dependent on you for everything. The stakes are high. What if you mess this up? (Side note: you will at some point—everyone does). Why won’t this kid stop crying? What if you can’t handle it?



New father bonding with infant while managing post-partum depression in men in Des Plaines, IL and learning can guys get postpartum depression in Des Plaines, IL. Des Plaines, IL | Park Ridge, IL | Wilmette, IL

Why First-Time Father Anxiety Is So Common


Fatherhood anxiety happens when you get overloaded by the responsibilities and your inexperience, combined with your deeply held beliefs about what it means to be masculine. If you don’t “just know” what to do, your confidence is soon replaced by shame. And men hate feeling ashamed. Oh, and you’re sleep-deprived and under greater pressure to provide financially for your new family.


Avoidance Makes It Worse


It’s perfectly understandable to steer clear of anxiety-triggering situations. However, by working extra hours, running extra errands, or relying on your spouse to take ownership of all parenting, you’re gradually teaching your brain to feel threatened when you’re alone with your child. This could make you more anxious and strain your spousal relationship over time. You might start feeling disconnected and guilty, too.  And that’s where therapy comes in.



How Therapy for Dads in Des Plaines, IL Can Help


Father bonding peacefully with sleeping newborn while receiving therapy for dads in Des Plaines, IL to manage dads and depression in Des Plaines, IL. Des Plaines, IL | Northbrook, IL | Wilmette, IL

Therapy for dads is a judgment-free space where new dads can talk openly about how stressful parenting can be. Your therapist can help you reframe how you understand your experience. Instead of “I’m weak” or “I’m a failure,” it’s more about “What’s happening in my mind and body?”


If your postpartum therapist knows how to work with new dads, you might notice the following after a few sessions:

  1. You understand more about anxiety and why it shows up during new parenthood

  2. You can recognize the unhelpful thought patterns fueling your fear and self-doubt

  3. You’re learning how to calm your nervous system in real time, not just after the fact

  4. You feel more confident being alone with your child

  5. You’re starting to process your new “Dad” identity

  6. You’re beginning to understand your own childhood in a completely different way   



New parents bonding with baby while seeking support from postpartum therapist in Des Plaines, IL for postnatal depression in men Des Plaines, IL. Des Plaines, IL | Wilmette, IL | Winnetka, IL

You Don't Have to Do This Alone


If being alone with your baby makes you anxious, you're in good company. Lots of new dads feel that way. It doesn't mean you're weak or incapable; it means you're adjusting to one of the biggest changes of your life. With the right support, anxiety doesn’t have to define your experience of fatherhood.


If you're a new dad in Illinois, I can help you feel more confident and connected in your new role. You owe it to yourself and to your family to get the support you deserve.


GET THE SUPPORT YOU DESERVE AS A NEW FATHER THROUGH THERAPY FOR DADS IN DES PLAINES, IL


When first-time father anxiety makes you question every decision, therapy for dads in Des Plaines, IL can help you move through fear and respond with confidence instead of doubt. With the right support, many fathers learn how to trust their instincts, manage overwhelming emotions, and stay present with their baby without constant worry or second-guessing.

If you've noticed yourself feeling afraid to be alone with your baby, questioning whether you're doing things right, or pulling back from caregiving moments because the anxiety feels too intense, you're not alone.


The transition into fatherhood and the vulnerability that comes with caring for a tiny, dependent human often bring emotional challenges that men are rarely encouraged to talk about. These fears of inadequacy, harm, or failure aren't character flaws; they're signs that you need support, not judgment. Acknowledging that tension isn't a weakness; it's the first step toward change and becoming the father you want to be.


Working with a therapist in Des Plaines, IL, who understands the emotional and identity shifts fathers face can help you make sense of what's beneath the anxiety. Therapy for dads in Des Plaines, IL, offers space to explore intrusive worries about your baby's safety, manage the pressure of new responsibilities, challenge catastrophic thinking patterns, and reconnect with a steadier, more confident version of yourself. Especially during those vulnerable early weeks and months of fatherhood when everything feels uncertain and overwhelming.

Here's how to get started:


  1. Schedule an appointment with Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates PLLC

  2. Meet with a men's therapist in Des Plaines, IL, who understands the emotional transitions of fatherhood

  3. Begin building confidence, presence, and emotional resilience—not just as a dad, but as a whole person


OTHER SERVICES WITH SHAPIRO PSYCHOTHERAPY IN ILLINOIS


When first-time father anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and caregiving fears collide, therapy for dads in Des Plaines, IL can help you slow things down and respond with clarity instead of panic. With the right support, many fathers learn how to manage overwhelming emotions, challenge catastrophic thinking, and feel more confident in their ability to care for and protect their baby.


At Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates PLLC, I work specifically with men navigating the emotional and identity shifts that come with fatherhood—whether you're adjusting to life with a newborn, managing fears about being alone with your baby, dealing with intrusive thoughts about harm or accidents, or feeling paralyzed by the weight of responsibility. These experiences are more common than you might think, and they don't mean you're a bad father or incapable of caring for your child. Therapy for dads in Des Plaines, IL offers space to unpack these challenges, make sense of your reactions, understand where the anxiety is coming from, and reconnect with the version of yourself you want to bring into your family relationships and caregiving moments.


As a postpartum therapist in Des Plaines, IL, I may draw from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you clarify your values as a father and make intentional choices aligned with who you want to be, EMDR to process unresolved stress or emotional triggers from your own childhood or past experiences, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to challenge catastrophic thoughts and self-critical beliefs about your capabilities, or Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) to build emotional regulation, grounding skills, and presence—especially during high-anxiety caregiving moments when fears feel overwhelming. Each approach is evidence-based and thoughtfully adapted to your unique needs, concerns, and goals as a new father.


You don't have to figure out fatherhood or manage these fears on your own. With a focus on men's mental health, perinatal mood challenges, and identity transitions, I provide a supportive, nonjudgmental environment where you can talk honestly about what's weighing on you, understand the deeper patterns behind your anxiety, explore what might be contributing to your fears, and build a steadier, more grounded sense of self as a father. You're welcome to explore my blog and podcast for additional insight on fatherhood, anxiety, and mental health. And when you're ready, reach out to take the next step toward feeling more connected, confident, and capable as a dad.


 
 
 

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